JOKES
#23
03-09-2006 | 10:37 PM
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 7,579
From:
RE: JOKES
This one will drive you nuts!!..I got to 15.946 seconds
The object of the game is to move the red block around
without getting hit by the blue blocks or touching the black walls.
If you can go longer than 18 seconds you are phenomenal.
It's been said that the US Air Force uses this for fighter
pilots. They are expected to go for at least 2 minutes.
Give it a try!!
http://tinyurl.com/56t9u
The object of the game is to move the red block around
without getting hit by the blue blocks or touching the black walls.
If you can go longer than 18 seconds you are phenomenal.
It's been said that the US Air Force uses this for fighter
pilots. They are expected to go for at least 2 minutes.
Give it a try!!
http://tinyurl.com/56t9u
#25
03-11-2006 | 04:06 PM
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 7,579
From:
RE: JOKES
Laws of Nature
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of Gravity
A slice of buttered bread will always fall and hit the floor buttered side down.
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of Gravity
A slice of buttered bread will always fall and hit the floor buttered side down.
#26
03-13-2006 | 02:11 AM
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 7,579
From:
RE: JOKES
DEAR ABBY:
Dear Abby , A couple of women moved in across the hall From me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the Other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These Two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a Man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think They could be Lebanese?
Dear Abby, What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence On My VCR?
Dear Abby, I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so Much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.
Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three year old liberated Woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's Getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should Share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough To discuss money with him.
Dear Abby, I've suspected that my husband has been Fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, He's denied everything and said it would never happen Again.
Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why Would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home Turn against his own?
Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I seen It. Now how do I get out?
Dear Abby, My forty year old son has been paying a Psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a Half years. He must be crazy.
Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home Sober.
Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short tempered. I Think she is going through mental pause.
Dear Abby, You told some woman whose husband had lost All interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my Husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?
Dear Abby , A couple of women moved in across the hall From me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the Other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These Two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a Man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think They could be Lebanese?
Dear Abby, What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence On My VCR?
Dear Abby, I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so Much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.
Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three year old liberated Woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's Getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should Share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough To discuss money with him.
Dear Abby, I've suspected that my husband has been Fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, He's denied everything and said it would never happen Again.
Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why Would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home Turn against his own?
Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I seen It. Now how do I get out?
Dear Abby, My forty year old son has been paying a Psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a Half years. He must be crazy.
Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home Sober.
Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short tempered. I Think she is going through mental pause.
Dear Abby, You told some woman whose husband had lost All interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my Husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?
#27
03-14-2006 | 11:13 AM
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 7,579
From:
RE: JOKES
BUSH..Again!
Donald Rumsfeld finished his daily briefing to the President and made a quick comment that 3 Brazillian soldiers had been killed in a terrorist attack.
The President first stared blankly, then appeared stunned. His face turned pale, he buried his face in is hands. Unaccustomed to such emotional displays by their esteemed leader, Rumsfeld, Rice and the others began to shift uneasily.
After almost a minute, Bush, his eyes brimming with the promise of tears, asked, "Remind me again.....how many is a brazillian? [&:]
Donald Rumsfeld finished his daily briefing to the President and made a quick comment that 3 Brazillian soldiers had been killed in a terrorist attack.
The President first stared blankly, then appeared stunned. His face turned pale, he buried his face in is hands. Unaccustomed to such emotional displays by their esteemed leader, Rumsfeld, Rice and the others began to shift uneasily.
After almost a minute, Bush, his eyes brimming with the promise of tears, asked, "Remind me again.....how many is a brazillian? [&:]
#28
03-14-2006 | 01:48 PM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 4,300
From:
RE: JOKES
ORIGINAL: Dennis
BUSH..Again!
Donald Rumsfeld finished his daily briefing to the President and made a quick comment that 3 Brazillian soldiers had been killed in a terrorist attack.
The President first stared blankly, then appeared stunned. His face turned pale, he buried his face in is hands. Unaccustomed to such emotional displays by their esteemed leader, Rumsfeld, Rice and the others began to shift uneasily.
After almost a minute, Bush, his eyes brimming with the promise of tears, asked, "Remind me again.....how many is a brazillian? [&:]
BUSH..Again!
Donald Rumsfeld finished his daily briefing to the President and made a quick comment that 3 Brazillian soldiers had been killed in a terrorist attack.
The President first stared blankly, then appeared stunned. His face turned pale, he buried his face in is hands. Unaccustomed to such emotional displays by their esteemed leader, Rumsfeld, Rice and the others began to shift uneasily.
After almost a minute, Bush, his eyes brimming with the promise of tears, asked, "Remind me again.....how many is a brazillian? [&:]
That's funny but i would beleive he would ask that question because he is a -----
#29
03-16-2006 | 02:58 AM
Senior Member
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 274
From:
RE: JOKES
ORIGINAL: Dennis
DEAR ABBY:
Dear Abby , A couple of women moved in across the hall From me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the Other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These Two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a Man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think They could be Lebanese?
Dear Abby, What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence On My VCR?
Dear Abby, I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so Much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.
Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three year old liberated Woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's Getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should Share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough To discuss money with him.
Dear Abby, I've suspected that my husband has been Fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, He's denied everything and said it would never happen Again.
Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why Would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home Turn against his own?
Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I seen It. Now how do I get out?
Dear Abby, My forty year old son has been paying a Psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a Half years. He must be crazy.
Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home Sober.
Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short tempered. I Think she is going through mental pause.
Dear Abby, You told some woman whose husband had lost All interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my Husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?
DEAR ABBY:
Dear Abby , A couple of women moved in across the hall From me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the Other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These Two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a Man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think They could be Lebanese?
Dear Abby, What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence On My VCR?
Dear Abby, I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so Much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.
Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three year old liberated Woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's Getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should Share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough To discuss money with him.
Dear Abby, I've suspected that my husband has been Fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, He's denied everything and said it would never happen Again.
Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why Would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home Turn against his own?
Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I seen It. Now how do I get out?
Dear Abby, My forty year old son has been paying a Psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a Half years. He must be crazy.
Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home Sober.
Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short tempered. I Think she is going through mental pause.
Dear Abby, You told some woman whose husband had lost All interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my Husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?