Dear Santa,

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy

all yeer. yer Frend, BiLLy



Dear Billy,

Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care.

How about I send you a friggin' book so you can learn to read

and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At

least HE can spell!

Santa

________________________________________



Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for

is peace and joy in the world for everybody!

Love, Sarah



Dear Sarah,

Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?

Santa

________________________________________



Dear Santa,

I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like

for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what

you can do.

Love, Tedd y



Dear Teddy,

Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in

a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back

to your frigid mom, who rides his *** constantly? It's time to

give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead.

Santa

________________________________________



Dear Santa,

I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a

dog, a drum set, a pony and a tuba.

Love, Francis



Dear Francis,

Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay;

I'll set you up with a Barbie.

Santa



----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Santa,

I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left

carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.

Love, Susan



Dear Susan,

Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my

face when riding in the sleigh. You wa nt to do me a favor?

Leave me a bottle of scotch.

Santa

________________________________________



Dear Santa,

What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy

making toys?

Your friend, Thomas



Dear Thomas,

All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas,

where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films.

I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses

of c0cktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table.

Hey, you wanted to know.

Santa

-------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Santa,

Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when

we're awake, like in the song?

Love, Jessica



Dear Jessica,

Are you really that gullible or are you just a blonde? Good

luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.

Santa

________________________________________



Dear Santa,

I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please

PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?

Timmy



Timmy,

That whiney begging crap may work with your over-indulgent

folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a

sweater again.

Santa

________________________________________



Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do

you get into our home?

Love, Marky



Mark,

First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're

getting your *** whipped at school. Second, you don 't live

in a house; you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third,

I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through

your bedroom window.

Sweet Dreams, Sa nta

 

Marky...... Somebody sent these to me, but still funny! [sm=smiley36.gif]

 

poor marky

 

that windows a b1tch sometimes.haha

 

Dear Santa,

I've been a good video store chain owner all year and I just want some rims for my wife's new truck this year, and a chew toy for peek-a-boo.

Bobby



Bobby,

I'm gonna steal your ride and take it mudding. Sweet dreams, bacon boy.

Santa

 

nice one puddles, i almost shot beer out my nose . . . . . high quality american beer, not that over-carbonated, moosepee canoodlian crap . . . . . . . .

 

Those are funny

 

I didn't know Impy played Santa? LOL JK[8D][X(]

 

why, did someone catch impy crawling through the back window of puddles' truck again?

 

it's still at the collision center.... maybe he waseyeing the PT Loser??