A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer asks her some questions:

Officer: What's 2 + 2?

Blonde: Ummm... 4!

Officer: What's the square root of 100?

Blonde: Ummm... 10!

Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?

Blonde: Ummm... I dunno.

Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.

The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job.

The blonde replies excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case!"[/align]

 

Three girls are trapped on an island: a brunette, a redhead and a blonde. They discover a magic lamp and rub it, causing a magic Genie to pop out.

"I will grant you three wishes, one for each of you!" exclaims the Genie.

The brunette speaks first, "I wish to be flown off of this island." The Genie complies and a helicopter appears, whisking the brunette away.

The redhead then says, "I wish for a boat to show up so it can take me away from here!" The Genie again complies and no sooner than snapping his fingers, a boat shows up and the redhead sails away.

The blonde looks at the Genie, then out towards the ocean, then back to the Genie and says, "I wish my friends were here..."

 

Ok, I hope it's not too tacky.. if so, please feel free to delete it.It's anoldy,but it's one of my favorites.

Know why the Blondes in San Francisco don't where mini skirts?

Because when they bend over, their ***** hang out.

 

 

A blonde woman named Brandi finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial trouble. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help.

She begins to pray... "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Brandi again prays..."God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lotto night comes and Brandi still has no luck. Once again, she prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Brandi is confronted by the voice of God Himself... "Brandi, you have to buy a ticket."[/align]

 

All of those were Gems....